Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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