trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
