who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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