if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
