people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
