I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
