And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize