He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
