You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
