my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
