Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
