No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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