Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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