You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
