He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
