I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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