I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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