remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
