Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
