jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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