Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
