I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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