I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we're making bets on your personal life
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
