im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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