is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
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Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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