Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
