Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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