I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The power of my boobs compel you
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
