hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
