May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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