I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm at about main and main street
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
