why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
