She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
