Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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