Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
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Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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