She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
