Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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