I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
