I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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