Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
