Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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