I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
