Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
