Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
