capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
