Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
