He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day