I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
