didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
