When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
