omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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