she woke up with a sticky ear
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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