WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
