Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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