No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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