you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.