I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
smell my finger.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??