He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
