i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
