Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
