new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
