its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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