We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How's work?
Spinning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
