they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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