i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
