if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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