I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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