Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
