Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
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