She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
